It is November, and it is my birthday month. I have completed 49 years around the sun. Not too shabby.
They say the 40s are your best decade. I wholeheartedly agree. There was a lightness, a sense of a weight that lifted off me when I turned 40.
Truthfully, it has been a roller coaster of a decade – life-changing, career changing, health changing. Mid-life crisis is accurate, and I am just happy that I made it through my Forties in one piece, even if I needed to glue those broken pieces broke back together. Looking back on it, I know it all had to happen. So, along the lines of the tradition of Japanese bowls, I have put myself back together with gold, a better reflection of my truth.
If I am being honest, my body has been begging me to slow down for a long time, constantly sending signals to go slower still. I thought I was listening, but then I got whacked on the head as I cycled from work to yoga.
Recovering from a concussion has taken self-care to a new level for me. It forced me to learn the hard way and listen to all my body’s warning signals. Because now, if I am not listening, if I get caught up in my mind and or push myself, my ears start to ring, my ability to process information shuts down, and my body begins to ache all over. I have learned that self-care is a much more involved process than what everyone preaches. It takes effort, and it requires a daily conscious commitment and a lot of self-compassion. Yet living this way is how I should have been living before – slower, taking breaks, and more in tune with my own needs.
So, here I am at the age of 49, surrendering daily and finding comfort at this new pace. Though my mind still thinks it should all happen faster or that I should do more, I notice those thoughts and let them go. They are just thoughts, remnants of my past life, that are no longer serving me. The beauty of slowing down, and respecting my limits, is that it has allowed me to be available and present for all the universe has to offer.